2003 James Bauhaus

COPDOGS

On TV, cops tell us that their bomb-, drug-, or corpse-sniffing dogs get "depressed" when they work all day and don't make a find. Dogcops feel depressed when they imagine that their co-worker is depressed. To alleviate both copdog and dogcop depression, real or imagined, the dogcop will give the copdog one of the many treats he dispenses from his pockets throughout the day, regardless of success or failure. The dog is said to feel better, and it does wonders for the cop. This practice is discouraged by the dog's trainers. Why? Because indiscriminant and random dispensing of treats defeats the training of the copdog and the training of the dogcop. But it makes good human interest to feed such pap to the buying public. They see the cute little dog wagging her tail and the cop happily petting, feeding and crooning lovingly to the dog. They do not realize that the dog is training the cop to pass out more treats. The copdog is also being trained to indicate finds where no finds exist. Because of this mutual retraining of copdog and dogcop, it is necessary to periodically return the copdog to its trainer for retraining. The dogcop should be retrained too, but almost never is. The effec- tiveness of the copdog/dogcop system is almost never scientifically evaluated. One reason for this is the fact that cops prefer a high rate of false positives. With bombs and corpses, false positives make little difference. False positives having to do with drugs are a different story. Cops use copdogs to wedge themselves into people's private lives and to shackle- --abduct. ransom and enslave citizens. Once a cop has used the dog's "testimony" to falsely accuse a citizen of drugcrime, the cop gets to ransack their victim's pockets, body cavities, car, boat, home, business and anything else in their never-ending search for any crime even after it is found that no drugs exist and the copdog merely lied for a treat or responded to a secret signal by the dogcop.

Secret signals by dogcops to the copdog to falsely accuse people of drugcrime are very common due to the ease with which dogcops can subvert the copdog's training. The copdog is ever attentive to the dogcop and his pockets full of treats. Copdogs are

. smart, and it is a very small step for them to learn to forgo the intermediate step of "smell drugs" and go directly to the sitting, barking, jumping, dancing or digging be havior that elicits feeding behavior from the dogcop. When the dogcop approves via treat, the feedback loop is shortened.

Cops conceal this extremely high rate of false positives and do not allow the scientific testing that would reveal that their false positive rate can be 100% if the dogcop desires it. Some evidence of this is the many stories of grandparents telling their grandkids how the "dumb" dog thought there were drugs in their RV and the friend- ly, smiling cop was thus "forced" to search through it and all their papers, titles, stickers, licenses, urine, saliva, DNA, etc. . .